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"Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other." - Honore Debalazac.
I believe relationships last when each person admires the other person a little more than they admire themselves.
How can I be so wrong, so often? And I'm really picky. I don't want to be alone, I want a companion. I'm losing a mother and even my closest friend is no substitute. I need a partner, but I can't just rush and find one. I expect bells and whistles when I meet "the one" The problem is, that I have heard bells and whistles before, but I don't think he heard them. Or as he explained to me once, we're not hearing them at the same time. The more I think about it, I think the bells and whistles meant something else. I'm incredibly happy this man had been in my life, even though it seems that our future relationship will be simply that of long time acquaintances who share something big enough to have them think of each other often, but who don't need to make the time to meet up more frequently.
The problem is, this man raised the bar for future men. Each man in my life has helped me make a list of what I need and what I expect in a relationship, and a few of them have added so many requirements on their own, I don't know where I'm going to find this perfect conglomeration of perfectness. I can't really enumerate all my needs but above all else, the man must love me. Not the kind of love I've had before. No one has yet to love me the way I expect and hope to be loved. Well, one boy came close, we were 15... but that was so long ago. The kind of love that just hangs in the air, him being so happy that I love him, I chose him, above all others... he feels honored to be my beloved... It's not one sided though, I would feel the exact same way. He will be so special that I'm blessed to have him in my life. I have tried typing this out in 18 different ways... With the love, comes the care they feel for me. Care enough to anticipate my needs, emotionally, or physically. When I find the right one, I don't think I'll need to struggle to find the right things to say or do... with the love, comes the care for it to occur sincerely and naturally.
Most romantic moment (only partially emphasizing the previous paragraph as per the anticipation and filling an emotional and physical need):
Sitting on a couch with a certain man, in absolute comfortably flirtatious silence, we're both having a drink, and we lock eyes only briefly... nonchalantly he smiles as he puts down his drink, and then he takes my drink and puts it down as well. With his other hand, he leans in and pulls me close and begins to kiss me.
Timing was everything. And it was absolutely fluid. The problem - I don't think he knew he was being perfect that night.
Most indulgent moment (purely someone anticipated an emotional need, answered it in a physical fashion):
A man was once so into me, he couldn't stop running his fingers through my hair, kissing my shoulders, and my neck... constantly distracting me... through our conversation, he knew I needed something more than a comforting shoulder. I needed to be shown that I was 'wanted'. Very smooth character, tried to relax me with a backrub, and with much agility, unhooked my bra, and sensually ran his strong hands down my back and shoulders -- he even had the massage oil on hand. His confidence was attractive, his talent at backrubs and blatant sexuality made me weak in the knees... it was as exciting as it was intimidating. Nothing "happened" that night, but what I felt that night, I yearn to feel again but from the right person.
I believe relationships last when each person admires the other person a little more than they admire themselves.
How can I be so wrong, so often? And I'm really picky. I don't want to be alone, I want a companion. I'm losing a mother and even my closest friend is no substitute. I need a partner, but I can't just rush and find one. I expect bells and whistles when I meet "the one" The problem is, that I have heard bells and whistles before, but I don't think he heard them. Or as he explained to me once, we're not hearing them at the same time. The more I think about it, I think the bells and whistles meant something else. I'm incredibly happy this man had been in my life, even though it seems that our future relationship will be simply that of long time acquaintances who share something big enough to have them think of each other often, but who don't need to make the time to meet up more frequently.
The problem is, this man raised the bar for future men. Each man in my life has helped me make a list of what I need and what I expect in a relationship, and a few of them have added so many requirements on their own, I don't know where I'm going to find this perfect conglomeration of perfectness. I can't really enumerate all my needs but above all else, the man must love me. Not the kind of love I've had before. No one has yet to love me the way I expect and hope to be loved. Well, one boy came close, we were 15... but that was so long ago. The kind of love that just hangs in the air, him being so happy that I love him, I chose him, above all others... he feels honored to be my beloved... It's not one sided though, I would feel the exact same way. He will be so special that I'm blessed to have him in my life. I have tried typing this out in 18 different ways... With the love, comes the care they feel for me. Care enough to anticipate my needs, emotionally, or physically. When I find the right one, I don't think I'll need to struggle to find the right things to say or do... with the love, comes the care for it to occur sincerely and naturally.
Most romantic moment (only partially emphasizing the previous paragraph as per the anticipation and filling an emotional and physical need):
Sitting on a couch with a certain man, in absolute comfortably flirtatious silence, we're both having a drink, and we lock eyes only briefly... nonchalantly he smiles as he puts down his drink, and then he takes my drink and puts it down as well. With his other hand, he leans in and pulls me close and begins to kiss me.
Timing was everything. And it was absolutely fluid. The problem - I don't think he knew he was being perfect that night.
Most indulgent moment (purely someone anticipated an emotional need, answered it in a physical fashion):
A man was once so into me, he couldn't stop running his fingers through my hair, kissing my shoulders, and my neck... constantly distracting me... through our conversation, he knew I needed something more than a comforting shoulder. I needed to be shown that I was 'wanted'. Very smooth character, tried to relax me with a backrub, and with much agility, unhooked my bra, and sensually ran his strong hands down my back and shoulders -- he even had the massage oil on hand. His confidence was attractive, his talent at backrubs and blatant sexuality made me weak in the knees... it was as exciting as it was intimidating. Nothing "happened" that night, but what I felt that night, I yearn to feel again but from the right person.
