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Decypher this please...
Nov. 1st, 2003 02:04 pmHoroscope from 11-1-03
You'd rather be extreme than neutral. This behavior won't win you many new friends, although old friends might think it's cool. Rebelling against your limits makes hitting them a much harder experience.
I'm stumped.
Aside from that... things are winding down. I actually had a scare last night - while asleep, she made a gasping noise and a small yelp and then fell silent. I remember her telling me that when my great grandmother died, Bubbie, she heard a noise from her like a feeble wooing. I thought she was making that same noise... I promptly yelled at her, and she woke up. I didn't tell her why I was so worried, I just told her I wanted to know if she needed anything, she looked "restless" in her sleep.
I'm in a quandry... I want my mother's pain to end. My mom wants her own pain to end. But, in all reality, the end of pain, is death... some sort of relief that medicine cannot give her. But, I fear her death, she fears her death, and I selfishly want her not to die... even though I think we both know she'll be better off once that happens.
I have a feeling I am about to go through some sort of threshold... and I shall be forever changed. I don't know if I'll like the new me.
I can't sleep right now, I stay up late, wake up early, sleep poorly when I actually manage to pass out... I am constantly nauseous, heart racing in anticipation, very nervous. Shellefly gave me a good idea about sitting Shivah - spending half my time in NYC and the other half in DE. If I spent the whole time in NYC, I'd be very very lonely.
I'm also thinking about getting a dog. I am not working right now, so I have time to train it, it will keep me company as well as nuzzle up to my mom.
Thoughts?
You'd rather be extreme than neutral. This behavior won't win you many new friends, although old friends might think it's cool. Rebelling against your limits makes hitting them a much harder experience.
I'm stumped.
Aside from that... things are winding down. I actually had a scare last night - while asleep, she made a gasping noise and a small yelp and then fell silent. I remember her telling me that when my great grandmother died, Bubbie, she heard a noise from her like a feeble wooing. I thought she was making that same noise... I promptly yelled at her, and she woke up. I didn't tell her why I was so worried, I just told her I wanted to know if she needed anything, she looked "restless" in her sleep.
I'm in a quandry... I want my mother's pain to end. My mom wants her own pain to end. But, in all reality, the end of pain, is death... some sort of relief that medicine cannot give her. But, I fear her death, she fears her death, and I selfishly want her not to die... even though I think we both know she'll be better off once that happens.
I have a feeling I am about to go through some sort of threshold... and I shall be forever changed. I don't know if I'll like the new me.
I can't sleep right now, I stay up late, wake up early, sleep poorly when I actually manage to pass out... I am constantly nauseous, heart racing in anticipation, very nervous. Shellefly gave me a good idea about sitting Shivah - spending half my time in NYC and the other half in DE. If I spent the whole time in NYC, I'd be very very lonely.
I'm also thinking about getting a dog. I am not working right now, so I have time to train it, it will keep me company as well as nuzzle up to my mom.
Thoughts?
