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Saturday we arrived at my cousin's house, had dinner, had more reinforcement on how sheltered the children are, and how weird the household was run. Example - the older sister, she's 14, and about to go into high school. She is right now obsessed with losing weight and as eating tabouli with a spoon. Her father yells at her saying she's eating too fast and she should eat it with a fork.
A) A fork doesn't change the speed in which one eats
B) A spoon certainly makes sense, it's not like she was eating with her hands as shovels.
C) Stop yelling at her for something as stupid as this! You're giving her a complex!!
The younger brother (10yrs old) though, has rudeness problems, has to interrupt everyone to ask his mom if he can do stupid things, like have a can of diet soda, use the microwave, etc.
Both of these poor children are sheltered from pop culture too, and mature themes. They are not allowed to watch anything MILDLY upsetting or MILDLY sexual, or anything MILDLY INTERESTING. The younger brother was not interested in seeing Seabiscuit, but even if we was, the parents were ready to say NO because a girl takes her shirt off and you see her naked BACK and there is one scene where there is an accident with a horse and it's thrown rider. Jesus.
BUT -- for some reason they're allowed to see Austin Powers, and the scene where they're naked and there's all that nice choreography hiding their naughty bits, is OKAY!
I feel like sending them a copy of A Clockwork Orange for her 15th birthday, it's how old I was when I saw it for the first time. And maybe I'll send them an issue of Playboy, or George Carlin's/Denis Leary's comedy special, or maybe season 3 of Sex and the City.
Anyway... I must speak of my good friend Orka.
Sunday was beach weather - and my cousin's have a membership at an actual beach club. I had no idea what this was going to be like, but it sounded interesting. We arrive at 11am, just my cousin (the mother) and my mother. We set up our stuff on 6 lounge chairs to accommodate the impending arrival of the rest of the brood. After some time on the beach, we go back to the chairs and lay down and talk. My mom is in NO pain, which is good. Neither am I, yet. I'm in full denial of wearing sunscreen. See, I don't tan. I just don't. Well, I was wrong.
Well it's finally getting warm enough to consider getting into the pool. But, of course, things must take a turn for the worse. It's the last weekend of the summer, and the beach club is having a Disco party. Oy. My mother requests a certain song, that shall remained unnamed, and makes me dance for her like some trained monkey for her amusement. I'm a good monkey. I frightened my cousins, and amused the old ladies. My job here was done.
NOW it's pool time. But, what is this? Ahoy, ye mateys, is that a whale displacing all this water in the pool? No, it's Orka, the aptly named large female swimmer wearing a bathing suit with a white tshrt on top. And she's bopping to the music. She did laps and took up the whole lane. I feel horrible for giggling, but my god, was this a huge woman! This was 1am spandex in Walmart worthy giggling...
We're out of the pool, just talking and hanging out, I get some food for my mom, and reapply a small amount of sunblock to my face and other hot spots... Everyone around us as rotated their chairs, I guess to get full exposure to the sun - we rebelled and didn't rotate with everyone else. I'm glad we didn't -- or else I'd be a lobster EVERYWHERE other than just the right hemisphere of my body... sigh.
Sorry tonight's entry was disjointed. I was interrupted by 10 people online.
A) A fork doesn't change the speed in which one eats
B) A spoon certainly makes sense, it's not like she was eating with her hands as shovels.
C) Stop yelling at her for something as stupid as this! You're giving her a complex!!
The younger brother (10yrs old) though, has rudeness problems, has to interrupt everyone to ask his mom if he can do stupid things, like have a can of diet soda, use the microwave, etc.
Both of these poor children are sheltered from pop culture too, and mature themes. They are not allowed to watch anything MILDLY upsetting or MILDLY sexual, or anything MILDLY INTERESTING. The younger brother was not interested in seeing Seabiscuit, but even if we was, the parents were ready to say NO because a girl takes her shirt off and you see her naked BACK and there is one scene where there is an accident with a horse and it's thrown rider. Jesus.
BUT -- for some reason they're allowed to see Austin Powers, and the scene where they're naked and there's all that nice choreography hiding their naughty bits, is OKAY!
I feel like sending them a copy of A Clockwork Orange for her 15th birthday, it's how old I was when I saw it for the first time. And maybe I'll send them an issue of Playboy, or George Carlin's/Denis Leary's comedy special, or maybe season 3 of Sex and the City.
Anyway... I must speak of my good friend Orka.
Sunday was beach weather - and my cousin's have a membership at an actual beach club. I had no idea what this was going to be like, but it sounded interesting. We arrive at 11am, just my cousin (the mother) and my mother. We set up our stuff on 6 lounge chairs to accommodate the impending arrival of the rest of the brood. After some time on the beach, we go back to the chairs and lay down and talk. My mom is in NO pain, which is good. Neither am I, yet. I'm in full denial of wearing sunscreen. See, I don't tan. I just don't. Well, I was wrong.
Well it's finally getting warm enough to consider getting into the pool. But, of course, things must take a turn for the worse. It's the last weekend of the summer, and the beach club is having a Disco party. Oy. My mother requests a certain song, that shall remained unnamed, and makes me dance for her like some trained monkey for her amusement. I'm a good monkey. I frightened my cousins, and amused the old ladies. My job here was done.
NOW it's pool time. But, what is this? Ahoy, ye mateys, is that a whale displacing all this water in the pool? No, it's Orka, the aptly named large female swimmer wearing a bathing suit with a white tshrt on top. And she's bopping to the music. She did laps and took up the whole lane. I feel horrible for giggling, but my god, was this a huge woman! This was 1am spandex in Walmart worthy giggling...
We're out of the pool, just talking and hanging out, I get some food for my mom, and reapply a small amount of sunblock to my face and other hot spots... Everyone around us as rotated their chairs, I guess to get full exposure to the sun - we rebelled and didn't rotate with everyone else. I'm glad we didn't -- or else I'd be a lobster EVERYWHERE other than just the right hemisphere of my body... sigh.
Sorry tonight's entry was disjointed. I was interrupted by 10 people online.
